I have an investment home which I can no longer maintain. I have tried renting and selling it but nothing happens. I can't afford the payments anymore. If the bank takes it, can the bank later come after me for my home even if I have homestead excemption?
This is the question I have been waiting for.
I'm not usually one to give away free advice, but I can see that you're in desperate need, so I will definitely help you out with this one.
First off, I see you have this pesky Investment home on the side that is mucking up the whole works. I also see, that you have unsuccessfully tried renting and selling it, to no avail, which basically means you have sold or rented it. So there you go, problem number one solved due to a glitch in the English language I hadn't even realized I was exploiting. (This is rather common)
If you still feel as if you haven't rented or sold your investment home, then I can give you some other ideas. You've tried renting, and selling, so lets keep on with the -ing words... Have you tried eating it? There is a french man who goes by Monsieur Mangetout who ate an entire airplane piece by piece. (don't believe me? best to google it) So, if you have a great enough desire to get rid of this thing, you'll eat it. Just give yourself some time and when all is said and done, no more investment, and something will happen (quite the opposite of the nothing you say is happening now)
O.K. now that we have the investment home out of the way either by grammatical error or consumption, lets get down to business and Loosen your current home.
This will best be done while wearing a sailors uniform.
Start by walking around the perimeter of the rooms of your house (this is for carpeted rooms only, of course) this prepares your rooms for expansion and contraction, which they will be partaking of during the respiratory sequence. You'll need to walk as close to the walls as possible preferably close to but not touching the walls. Also slam your feet toward the floor-boards (if there are no floor-boards install some prior to doing this) but DO NOT kick the floor-boards! You'll see why in a minute.
After you've completed the preliminary floor perimeter edging, you'll need to start the Expression Method. The easiest way to start the Natural process of Expression built into most homes is to Leave the house for an hour or two. Make sure to lock the door and make it difficult for you to get back into the house. The house will respond to this positively. Anyway, before you leave you'll want to turn on all of the faucets in the house. and make sure to plug those drains, you'll need a good 4 inches of water on the floors to get a good "bleed". (Aren't you glad you didn't kick the floor boards now?)
While you are out, pick up a lemon and cut it in half. Eat half, and then put half in your pocket.
Return to the house and get into the house without opening any doors or windows. (We don't want to let any of the water out) I would suggest Climbing to the roof and boring a hole in the roof somewhere. Only make the hole big enough for you to squeeze through uncomfortably.
You will now be in the main control center, or what the house likes to call its Mantacular Repository. You will need to activate its reflector nodes by pressing the "on" button. To find this, crawl into the area where the roof meets the edge of the house. You'll notice a slight gap between the house and the gutters outside, with your face pressed into the insulation reach your hand into the gutter. Feel that sludge? that is the switch you need to toggle, just squeeze it three times with your hand and your House's brain activity will jump 300%. Now let's head downstairs.
Once there you will notice that the house has started to ooze it's Natural Expression on the inner walls. The house should also almost be full of water. At this time you will move on to the Respiratory Phase.
Begin breathing the water. It will be difficult at first to let the water into your lungs, but I've heard it's very peaceful once you finally give in. You will want to jump-start your houses Respiratory Phase by drawing in as much of the water as possible into your lungs, and then then spitting it out with great force. Being 120% water you will be suprised how much water the lungs can actually hold. You should be able to fit most of the water inside your house into your lungs. Repeat this a few times to make sure the house begins it's fluctuation.
This will alert the Grand Champion of the Sea.
You should now begin calling your crustacean friends through your house's now living pipes. Tap out a question that is the answer to itself on the pipes in Morse code (I know, why would crustaceans know Morse code? you got me bub.) They should begin crawling out of your pipes within the next few days. They will know how to batten down all of the hatches and ready the cannons for firing.
Over the next few days if you watch through the windows, you will notice that you house is growing legs and arms. There is no way to speed up this process you must simply pray that they are fully grown before the Grand Champion of the Sea finds you.
Once he does, Your house will hopefully be loosened enough to stand and destroy him. If not, you'll have to restart the entire process and this time not kick the floor boards like I told you.
Source(s)
The Old Man and the Sea
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