I Regularly Misspell My Own Name... Regularly

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Thursday, November 29, 2007

what kind does the plant need to survive?

i need them with molecules and variables

Emily,

First and foremost, I think we've all heard the old addage "it takes all kinds" Well, I'm here to tell you that this pertains in your situation.

Plants take all kinds,, but your specific quandry deals with the kind they need to survive. To answer this we must first decide if the plant is anterior or posterior.

Please make your observations now.

Done? Good. OK so since the plant is anterior, you will need to reach around it, and find the biologic dongle. You will know you have found it when you hear a series of whizzing sounds. Now with a firm grip on the dongle shake the plant until it is lying perpendicular.

Now, you will be standing on the plant.

Kick it, and then eat it.

Done? Good. OK hopefully you did not eat the sub-cutaneous leaf pestules, if so you will have to expulse them from your body. (why would you eat them anyway?)

ok expulse the pestules and then put them back in the case.

The case will explode. Take the exploded case and eat it.

Now lay down on top of an overhead projector. Put your mouth on the lens encompassing the lens wholly thus.

Like so.

Now you will have multiple copies of the plant which will attack you. You must let them defeat you. Please, deliver this message to the plant General "Zembod says hello." After spending a few years getting to know the battle-field you will be an expert spy in the plant army. Get close to an officers wife, until she tells you things in confidence. Sell these secrets to the enemy to fund your wormhole research.

Build the wormhole, jump through, don't look at your surroundings or you will go blind, just perform the third act of Rogers and Hammerstein's "Carnival" in it's entirety, and then jump back through.

You will become effervescent light. Shine upon your past self, and then give yourself a sunburn. You are now the penultimate being.

Oh yeah you needed Molecules and Variables. Just go find some, I can't help you with everything.

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