I Regularly Misspell My Own Name... Regularly

We've gotten a lot of complaints here at Yahoodwinked (now a top ten most visited site as ranked by google patrons searching for the phrase "yahoodwinked"), visitors come to our blog and "don't understand what it is." Well, we have only one stance on this issue. "We can't tell you anything without your name, address and mother's maiden name sent to us in email." Seriously though, go to answers.yahoo.com... do it, now! See all the silly questions? Well we write fitting responses and think it is funny. You should too.

Monday, November 26, 2007

Blood stain on my towel??

my towel has likea blood stain... (but im not sure if that is a stain that just won't come off) and i used to dry myself...i asked if my bro used it and he said no....i guess i blowed my nose on it? would a blood stain come off? will i get infected... rubbing the towel on my body? since i used it to dry myself....im pretty sure that blood came off my nose



hi veronica, another great question for this forum and i can't wait to help out. first off, i too used to dry myself. after 24 years of it, i'd had enough. for the past 7 months, i've steered clear of any cotton or absorbant materials for 6-7 hours after showering. i'd recommend doing the same - HUGE stress saver. i hate water and i hate wet things.

now to see whether or not you've blowed your nose, please gather the following materials:
an odometer
pack of juicyfruit
white towel
half cup of ground black pepper
pepper spray (co2 container)
hose

visit your local high school track, leave odometer in car but bring the rest of the materials with you. while running at full speed, unwrap every piece of gum in the pack and place them in your mouth, chew until your jaw begins to lock up or the shin splints force you to stop running. place the wad of gum up your right nostril. take the ground black pepper and snort it up your left nostril, as you begin to sneeze, spray yourself directly in the face with the pepper spray. this will deactivate the sneezing particles in the pepper and release them back into the air or in this instance, "your air passage way" or "your lungs/every pore in the upper half of your torso".

grab the towel and sneeze into it until the gum shoots out and is captured. check for fillings then discard. you have now blowed your nose. be sure to throw away the towel before it accidentally dries any of the liquid h2o particles. drive home.

now for the tricky part... would a blood stain come off? great question. first, throw away all cotton materials in your home. have the water shut off and dispose of all liquids.

grab steak marinade, a monkey wrench and a lemon.

extract the lemon juice without penetrating the fruit's rind. take the monkey wrench and mash your left pinky finger.

still got any pepper spray left? good. give yourself a dose of that, square in the eyes. hit your bro with an open stream from that knowledge beacon as well. try not to blowed your nose on anything and rub the steak marinade underneath your eyelids as soon as the pepper spray runs out. this will help determine whether or not you will get infected from towel blood. to be honest, i'm not so sure about your bro. guy sounds seedy at best.

hope this cleared everything up.

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