How do I replace a manger with a new one?

How do I replace a manger with a new one? what are the exact steps? (Posted to Fantasy Sports)

My Response:

I am so glad you asked this question!

However, This is something that requires, tenacity, stick-to-it-ive-ness, and maybe a ball of radioactive goo. DO NOT get involved in replacing a manger if you won't be able to see it through. It does both you, the manger and the original subject of the manger a huge injustice, and is quite possibly an unpardonable sin.

Lets get down to this though shall we?

Step 1) First decide if your entire Manger needs replacing or if just certain pieces can be swapped.

- now for this step I'm going to assume in your question that when you say Manger, you're referring to the entire scene with figures included. (if you simply need to replace a building I think maybe you need to try answers.homedepot.com ) but I'll proceed as if you mean the whole scene figures included. I mean no serious Manger Manager would refer to it any other way.

Anyway as you look over the individual pieces of your set, please take in to account that there are some plastic models ( the 1997 Sears model, and the 2002 Black and Decker spring to mind) that have a bad habit of splitting down the seams, especially the lighted baby Jesus figure, 2 of the 3 wise men, and the Dung Pile (only on the deluxe model) simply consult your Manger Manager Manual (3M) and compare your pieces decay rate to the photos included in the Manual, it gives you a nice visual scale for all sorts of physical decay like a) Bird Poop Accumulation b) Acid Rain and c) Homeless Person Urine. I would say if any of your pieces rank in the mid to high 4's you'll probably want to think about replacing them.

Step 2) Determine whether the Manger Scene belongs to you or not.

I know, I know it sounds silly. You would think that everyone was taking good care of their Manger Scenes as well as we like to, however, you'd be surprised that a lot of people take little to no care of them. THIS INCLUDES CITIES and TOWNSHIPS (SHAME ON YOU!) So, we can be somewhat of a vigilante force if you will, and help other people take good care of their Mangers as well. here are some things I like to do to help out.

a) Inspect others scenes and remove pieces that I think need replacing - Now you'll have to put a placeholder in until you get the replacement part or the owners might get upset. This is where I will often use my kids stuffed animals, or in some cases if say it were a life sized waxed figure of Joseph say, or an angel, I will dress sin costume and fill the spot myself. This way you can also sing Christmas music to anyone passing by to give them the impression that it is coming from the Manger Scene itself.

b) if a Scene you view in another persons yard is beyond repair it is your duty to inform the owner that it is not a right to own a manger scene and that allowing them to decay past a low 3 is an unpardonable sin, that they will most likely burn in Hell if you don't set fire to their Manger scene, then set fire to their Manger scene. it will save both of your eternal souls.

Step 3) This one is going to sound a little weird, but I want you to remove the pieces that you find unfit, and I want you to talk to them. Tell them that they are ok and then kiss them a little bit. I'll let you decide what is ok, and what is "creepy" but I've been known to spend a few hours with each piece. This will prepare them for the afterlife. Then you must chop them into little pieces no larger than your thumb, or if your hands are large your neighbors thumb.

Step 4) order your new Manger pieces direct from your one stop Manger Shopping Source.

www.mangerreplacementparts.glov

Step 5) Have a Merry Christmas!

I hope this helps you out, We at the Manger Manager Association would love to hear how everything goes for you this year, if you haven't registered with us yet, please do it today, just google "Manger MANAGER Association - The place where we treat fake scenes of the Saviors birth as if they weren't fake" it should come right up.

Merry Xmas!!! (huffaw)

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