I'm almost certain that the only time you can make a U-turn is when there is a sign prohibiting you to do so, however let me dig into the archives of my "Traffic Law Quarterly" Magazine and see if we can't not find some other examples of when you might not or to be able to make a U-turn.
Issue #7 is one of my favorites. Do you have that one? It's the one with the Intersection of 4th and Main in the quaint Irish village of Din Doogan on the cover. You know the one where the sheep are stopping traffic? I must've laughed for an hour or so when I first saw that on on the stands I can tell you.
Anyway open this issue to page 13, not the 2 page spread right before, but flip one more page and you'll see what is a truly under-appreciated gem of an article by Mrs. Eddie Rippers. She says that in ancient times U-turns were allowed on certain days as set forth by the position of the sun in the sky. We can only take this to mean that you can make a U-turn during a lunar eclipse or if you were in a chariot race in which you had no other choice. I also found a related article in Vol 3. Issue number 27 (I believe this one is titled "Are cars the Bicycles of the future?") In this issue a brilliant scientist by the name of Vasselspridz, using the ancient theory of sun based U-turns, gives in structions on constructing a device that you can mount to the hood of your car. It will monitor the suns Audio signals and beam to your radio a voice telling you when it is appropriate to make a U-Turn, I believe the actor Cory Feldman lent his voice talent to the recording.
Here is a quick rundown of the instructions, which should suffice for you to build your own U-Turn indicator:
1) Gather together a set of Chinette Paper / Cardboard Plates and glue them accross the hood of your vehicle. You will want them to form the shape of something special from your past, most likely an old boyfriends face, or your high school building.
2) Buy 3 Gallons of fresh Lactose Free Milk. It has to be lactose free to keep from interfering with the cosine waves of the suns energy. Pour 2 of the gallons onto the plates. Drink the other gallon as quickly as possible (you will need to restock the indicator this way each time you drive your car).
3) Shave an animal you keep as a pet. this can be a bird as well, just try to shave it with the most dull razor you can find. Also, you can shave some larger bugs, or even a worm if they have any hair. I would not shave a human, but it is acceptable. Gather the hairs together and sprinkle them generously over the milk-filled plates and yourself. if you have any left, shove them into your own ears as bait for the signals. Signals love to eat shaved hair.
4) The final ingredient for your indicator is the wiring, I can;t go into too much detail here, but it's not complicated. Get some wire or if you don;t have any very wide aluminum foil twisted into a conduction tube. these wires will need to run from each of your plates to the antennae coupling located inside your cars dashboard. Consult your cars manual for precise details.
Anyway, now that you've got your ride decked out with the latest U-turn indicator, take it for a drive, Cory Feldman will tell you when the time is right.
Hope this helps!
email me if you need anything else!
ip0wntehstreetz@frontflix.glov
- I own every Issue of Traffic Law Quarterly
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