Where do I deduct?

I am a college student and in the past I have deducted my books. Where do I do that? Do I add it to my tuition or is there some where else I add it?

Christina? Hey it's Sam. We met once at a party about 9 months ago, well 8 months and 24 days ago. You were at the keg with a guy named Brian or something? I heard he accidentally put commercial bonding compound on his retainers and can't remove them from his mouth now and when he woke up he slipped on the ball bearings (sounds like a friggin' terrorist to me) he'd left on the floor next to his bed and is learning to walk again... probably won't want to strike that relationship up again, am I right?

Anyhow, I think you and I made eye contact for about 12 seconds (not positive on the time, my calculator watch was using a traditional battery back then, upgraded to a D08Z lithium now, try to tell me fractions don't look beautiful on this thing. I took it into RadioShack two days ago and the guy was like... well, story for another time) when I'd kinda gotten my livestrong bracelet stuck on the tap. Chance meeting huh? Well, pretty cool anyhow. Glad we could share that and I can't believe we met up like this. It only took 8 months too! how weird! It's like our number huh? so cool, we should celebrate 8 month anniversaries or something? *kuaackkkk* give me a second, I think that should have stayed in my throat... *kchhchhhhhh* be right back, this is definitely a non-removable bodypart trying to deduct itself from my tonsil area.

wow, that sucked. almost as bad as the time i accidentally drained half a keg onto your leg at that party.

WOW, well let's talk tuition.

Head over the bookstore and get the plastic out. Just buy one of everything, public universities will get your cash one way or another so you'll probably end up taking most general undergrad courses in the next 7 years of collegiate schooling.

You'll need to do some serious deductions after every class. Take notes in the margins of your book to save paper. When you get home (still over there on Shelton Ave?), deduct from the books, all of the pages with info you learned. run them under cold water (retains chemical balance of paper) and then shred them with toenail clippers. DEDUCTED!

Now add the cost of the toenail clippers to your tuition, subtract (more like subject, am i right?) yourself and a lifetime of commitment. take that number and place it under your pillow at night. when you wake in the morning (ignore the fog on your window, probably stray cats breathing on the panes while you sleep) there will be an anvil in place of the number.

Now if you add the removal of this maritime (more like merrytime, am i right?) device to your tuition costs, you'll see the importance of dating in college. How many kids did you want? I'm thinking four, nice round number. Talk to you soon.