How do write this in algebra???

there are 8 more 5 dollar bills than 1 dollar blls...... thnx:D

Okay, before I start you'll need to install your algebra font. I'm assuming you're using Pythagorean OS with a Euclidian output drive. Just open your five key and add your eight key to your USB port. Put your mouth riiiight next to the cd drive and whisper the secrets of the universe into that blinking red light. As it continues to blink, pour some orange juice onto your keyboard. Allow a few minutes for your computer to completely soak in this freshly squeezed knowledge and you'll soon see the font appear in a series of odd numbers (it'll make sense once you finish reading this, if they are even numbers or top heavy fractions... stand back) and beeps.

Bam, font installed. I make it a point to install this font on everyone's computer. Kinda like a calling card I leave at dinner parties, baby showers and whatever else. Next thing you know, Jaime's wife is on the horn to thank you "so "x=-y+7" much for doing this to our only computer". it's the gift that keeps on dividing itself by zero.

Now to get some dollar bills. Plant a penny in your lawn and sprinkle some dimes, green dye, freshly picked cotton, laminate finishing dyes, a few pairs of seven for all mankind jeans, as many neiman marcus catalogs as your poor arms can afford, a sports car and the broken dreams of capitalism on top. Nothing can grow without fertilizer.

As your dollar tree begins to grow, weep beneath it every day and allow your tears of agony soak into it's strong root system. nothing is better for money growth and potential earnings than patheticism.

You'll soon need to pollinate your tree's buds by chewing each one individually, swallowing and regurgitating them as liquid funds.

Sometimes you'll find a bird has landed in your tree and started a nest and within that conglomeration of hair, twigs and your shammy cloth is an egg. Shoot the bird and smash the eggs. No one wants that in their portfolio. Seems like a giant waste of time and my money tree.

Anyhow, if you've been regurgitating the buds correctly, you should end up with mainly five dollar bills. to see this algebraically, spill another glass of orange juice onto your keyboard. you may want to open up the back of your cpu and drop a knowledge bomb of A1 steak sauce in there as well. just something to get the juices flowing more juicily in your computer's membrane.

Source(s):
Mono(-o+ey)tony is just a long way of saying "I'm rich".

Call me old-fashioned, but gold teeth don't depreciate.

if you get reported for a question, what happens?

"Yeah just back it up 10 more feet... no that will do... yeah just put it there..."

Oh.. so sorry, I was on the phone.

Thank You Anne for this question. I troll these boards every day just hoping that someone would ask this. You see I'm the one here at Yahoo that created the system we use when someone gets reported for a question. Considering it all happens "behind the scenes", it is fairly depressing that no one will actually get to see this masterpiece of information processing, and therefore your question is a god-send to me. Thank you and again I say thank you. You will find that your Answers account has been credited 7 points for it, because I have that kind of power.

Thank You.

Just wanted to make sure you "get it" meaning how much I appreciate you asking this. So if you do, I'll continue.

Just press the "f" key on your keyboard if you get it, our interface traffic management scripts will run and allow you to continue this email. Thank You.

OK now to tell you a little bit about Yahoo and how it operates (sorry I have to go into a little detail or you won't understand the rest of the story). Yahoo is as much a virtual business as it is a real one. What I mean by that is that a lot of the employees here are nothing more than really really smart computers (RE: expensive!) that are running the latest and greatest AI. Built so well in fact that, most humans, I mean people, won't be able to differentiate the real person from a real one.

So, seeing as most of the employees are computers, we had to employ some strange scripts to ensure that when humans tried to interact with each other the computers would be able to expedite the process.

We first used these scripts (which collectively have been labeled the "Crimson Dottan" by most of the employees and are generally revered as something of a holy book here at the office) way back in 1993. Yahoo decided to start allowing humans to search the exposed matrix (how computers refer to the internet) using a simple web form field. Well let me tell you getting that form field to do anything was tricky, because the general IQ of any field, or most collected pixels for that matter is about 3. So, the first script was written to boost the form field intelligence. This is now a basic script and one of the first verses in the Crimson Dottan. This script ran and boosted the field's intelligence by 70 giving it the IQ of your average politician.

Anyway, needless to say if you were to peel the screen off of your LCD monitor (or if you're still using a CRT just smashing the tube would suffice) you would notice a small puff of invisible dust that would float out of the screen. This dust is injected by yahoo into your monitor each time you visit a Yahoo affiliated website. This is where the magic happens when someone types a word into a field. This dust then takes the pixels and converts them into something your computer can understand. Look at the circuitry behind your monitor. It's a little more complex than you thought isn't it? And while most people think that the internet (RE: web forms) simply take data entered by a keyboard and turn it into "1's and 0's" I can assure you it is much much more complicated than that. There has to be an analog equivalent to anything digital. If there weren't nothing would exist.

OK, now that you have a basic (RE: little to none) understanding of how the Crimson Dottan works we can start to talk about the process of how your questions get reported.

Step1 - A human presses the interface button to report a question.

Step2 - A number of Crimson Dottan scripts start to run. The first one is a translation verse. It tells the humans monitor, and sub-sequntally the living nerons of the exposed matrix in behind the monitor that a human has requested access. the second verse is one that awakens one of the human data processors here at the Yahoo offices.

Step3 - The data processor looks up your question in the hard file we keep stored in our Arizona warehouse (can't be too safe about this sort of thing) pulls the file and then makes 7 copies of the question, re-filing the original

Step4 - The Data Processor logs onto answerreporting.yahoo.com ebeters a code into form field there.

Step5 - the code is submitted to the Central Processor, which runs a delivery script (more on this in a moment) and which jump starts the Central Processor review of the question.

The seven copies of the question are picked up by an armored truck driven by men who wear masks to hide their identity. Honestly No one here ever set up this part of the script, so we're not sure what it does, however when we tried to hack the script to keep it from happening 3 human employees instantly died, so we leave it in place. we've followed the armored truck before to see what exactly was going on, but lost track of it when they drove into the Atlantic ocean.

Step 5 - If the Central Processor agrees that the question is of objectionable nature (for humans) it runs a script telling itself what it just decided. Then it sends the question to our human review board, just to keep all of the checks and balances in place, even though the human review board's decision is really more of a superfluous gesture at this point.

Step 6 - The Central Processor sends a request for 100,000 Nano-bots to be made with a request of "Delete Questionable question " built into their DNA.

Step7 - The Central Processor runs and information script on the web page the original request was made at pulling all of your personal data into the system (don't worry this is simply for your address, all of your bank records are left untouched)

Step 8 - The Central Processor encodes your home address into the Nano-bots DNA.

Step 9 - The Nano-bots are released

Step 10 - The Nanos find your house, and wait until you and your family (if you have any) are asleep.

Step 11 - They enter your Cerebral Cortex by osmosis transfer through the soft area at the base of your skull.

Step 12 - The Nano-bots turn off your consciousness control ensuring you will sleep through the painful and rigorous process of memory removal.

Step 13 - Upon completion the Nano-bots convert themselves to ring-worm to be dealt with by your bodies natural defenses. (Don't worry not before giving you control of your consciousness again... this has only failed in 1% of the cases)

Step 14 - You wake up with a case of "partial-amnesia" you won't remember the question you posted on the site, and you will always wonder how you got ring-worm.

It seems like a long drawn out process, I know, but in all actuality from the time a person presses the "report it" button to complete the process is almost instantaneous!

You have got to love modern technology!

Source(s): Crimson Ditton - Verse 3675432

The ol' 1/2 suckerpunch

How could i name my guitar?

I'd love to name my guitar.. i usually call it "my baby" but i didn't find any good name.. could you help me?

this is how it looks like : http://www.mistergooddeal.com/partage/im...

i don't know if i should give a boy or a girl name..


Good evening Corporal,

I am actually an expert on this subject, because I have helped many, many people choose the right name for their inanimate objects. Let's call it a habit of mine. I often look at an inanimate object someone owns and feel an uncontrollable urge to stop the person who owns it in the middle of whatever they are doing and scream the name of the object at the top of my lungs in their face. It's hard for some people to understand my genius, but I allow them the chance to try and appreciate it.

The second reason I am an expert on this subject is the simple fact that every object I own has been named it's true name, successfully gathering an army of inanimate parallel object souls 30,000 miles above my house in earth's atmosphere. This may sound intimidating, however, once you get a feel for it, you will be well on your way to gathering your own army of parallel object souls.

I love the fact that you have chosen your guitar as the first object you would like to find the true name for. It is one of the most challenging objects to follow through the transfer stream, but I imagine somewhere in your sub-conscious you already knew that, and that your inner-alamo is vying for some "last stand"

Let's get started because you will be dedicating the rest of this decade to the process, including but not limited two at least 7 temporal jumps that could last anywhere from 1 minute to 300 years.

The first thing you will want to do is to smash your guitar to pieces. Make sure that no piece is larger than your own ear canal, because you will be passing the entire thing through there as a future self. don;t worry though you will return later to just before you do this to stop yourself from doing it again (given you follow these instructions to a T) but you will have to suffer the agony at least once. (more than likely three - infinite times, but don;t worry if you get stuck in the temporal loop where you are continuosly passing the guitar pieces through your brain, there is a way to fix it. Granted it will mean the end of the human race as we know it, but that is also fixable through another temporal loop process we can jump start a few days ago if you need it)

O.K. now that you have broken your guitar into pieces, you must try to start passing the pieces through your ear canal and into your brain. You will show up from the future and try to stop yourself from doing this, but you must not listen to yourself, and you must succeed in passing all of he pieces into your brain. Your future self will even say that I told you not to listen to it and try to convince you that I am lying.

This is a lie.

Once you have started the process of passing the pieces into your brain, it should start to take over for itself, meaning the pieces will start marching up your body and planting themselves in your brain. This is good. It frees you up to start some of the temporal loops you're going to need later.

Start the following temporal loops:

1) An infinite chicken soup making loop (making sure that you use a cast iron pot)

2) a loop to counter-act the chicken soup loop

3) five seprate Chinese language loops that stop in the year 5634

4) Your choice of loop that will allow you to have ice-cream during the 1912 world's fair

5) one loop that changes your mailing address automatically every hour on the hour (this will be where you receive all communications . they will arrive in sealed packages with a "Federal Ickspress" Sticker on them.)

That should do for now.

You will notice that while you have been away, most of the guitar will be in your brain now. look in the mirror, your head should be vaguely guitar shaped. If it isn't start a loop for dental school and it should reset the fields.

O.K. now one of your past selves will be visiting you with the time machine you will have already built. This will look alot like a safety harness with sequins glued on it, if it doesn't DO NOT, I repeat DO NOT use it, One of your other past selves may try to show up and give you their version of a time machine that looks like Leonard Nimoy's left arm. This version of your past self is actually wreaking havok on the timeline right now and frankly we're getting very tired of it, so please, don't encourage them.

At this point, take the proper time machine and set it on the floor. You will see a version of yourself from .1 seconds in the future begin to grow into the harness. you must not let your .1 seconds future self keep hold of the harness so you will want to shoot them in the stomach. If you do not you become a 5th grade PE Teacher. If you do shoot them and they don't die, you become yourself, except your voice will not resonate in earth's atmosphere (use a Type A diabetes inifinite loop here). So make sure they die completely, if you do you can then start the actual process of breaking your guitar apart. I now it's tricky, but you'll have to do this for most of the rest of your life. Only when you've reached The loop threshold will you be able to enter the transfer stream with your guitar.

It's easy enough from there on out.. simply locate the Name lexicon floating in the transfer stream (it will be an infinitely probable world object projected into a 7 dimensional gauge field, so it's easy to spot) pour the Chicken soup on it, and your guitars name will appear in the middle of the war of 1812. I can't remember the exact coordinates, but you'll be an old hand at it at this point. Whatever you do though don;t use this version of yourself to travel into the war of 1812! that is a mistake a lot of newbies make! You'll want to make sure you have about 300 copies of yourself to send for you, each with a 90 percent tilt compounded into their default posture.

One of them should be able to get the name of your guitar and then tattoo it onto your left shoulder blade. probably about 2 minutes before you started the original loops. May as well go ahead and have a new copy of your future self come back and read it for you so you don;t have to walk all the way into the bathroom. That's what I do for simple menial tasks all the time now and trust me it makes a world of difference! I've never had to get up to find the remote for infinity squared!

Have the future self who read the name mail it to your alternating mailing address, where your personified guitar (man those things creep me out) will be waiting in a striped bikini. Make out with your guitar and slyly slip the name off your shoulder blade and into it's soul, by chanting the mantra you learned from Aldous Huxley.

Good luck! I wish I could be more help with this, but one of my future selves is currently killing me, I'll try to come back 3 years ago, and see how you are doing.

Source(s):

Celery Loop divided by Infinite Argument with Judas Iscariot

Flipping the Bird

How do I load lead into my Papermate Titanium 0.5mm Pencil?

Good question, give me two seconds to turn off this Caterpillar 9600 Earthmover so I can hear you more clearly.

There we go, I think we're about 2500 miles from the Earth's core. Should be stumbling across that Dark Matter any day now.

Well, welcome to the dig site. It's as good a place as any to ask about titanium and lead. I'm not crazy about this "paper" you speak of. Sounds waif-y. I'd try to set it on fire, see what happens. That's a rule of thumb in my house, if it doesn't burn when held over a flame, it can stay. Does not apply to my smokes. And I don't see the word "cave-dweller" as a negative connotation.

To get any sort of titanium into a pencil, you'll need to get a diamond tipped rotary saw and four dozen blind field mice. Have the mice lead (no pun intended) you into their hidden underground kingdom and barter with the King Rat for a wheel of aged sharp cheddar. He's a bashful fella, so don't try holding him over the coals, he'll just as soon eat through a dozen of crates in your attic and make a nest out of your previously mint condition full set of 1984 Fleer Diamond Club MLB trading cards. Trust me.

Once you have the wheel of cheddar, cut a few fleur-de-lis patterns on the "long side" with the diamond tipped saw. If you need practice, make a few practice cuts on the hood of your car. It won't feel much different than cutting up some cheddar with those diamond tips.

The fleur-de-lis are of course the calling card of those who have mastered the dark arts (with the exception of Jon Stamos, that guy is 100% invincible [there Jon, I've mentioned you, will you quit living in my rhododendron bush?]) and the cheddar cheese wheel will allow you passage through the rat chambers.

When you get past the rat kingdom, start lighting large paper fires to smoke out any lingering mice. The smoke should make your eyes burn, if it doesn't you are a harbinger of the apocalypse.

As the master of the dark arts welcome you and your cheese wheel, salute them with the "once around and double back, in my sock and up the stack". Reach down between your legs, tie your shoe laces together, attempt a back flip from the kneeling position and land on your neck, making a sock fall off and your nose bleed. They will respect this, though their cloaks may smell otherwise.

Within their left cloak pocket, is a tiny cylinder of titanium. Kiss their wretched, filthy boots, once on each toe and they will transmit a lifetime supply of titanium into your lead pencil.

Source(s):

You think Tchaikovsky's Nutcracker was a mockumentary? Think again.

Why wouldn't this happen?

Why doesn't this work?
H2O + NaCl --> HCl + Na2O ---
basically...
water and salt yields, acid + soda ---

and if this is a stupid question,
please dont state that it is, say why it is.


Dearest and Kindest, gentlest and dangerest Ben.

When we are young we're so full of uninhibited queries. The burden of this world has yet to rear its fearsome mandibles and inject our souls with the rancid venom of bitterness, self-doubt, self-loathing and jaded restraint. This can be good and bad. On one hand we're boundless and free to diligently seek out the limitless information to be acquired through academic pursuit, and the forum of ideals. On the other hand we fear our own lack of boundaries, and Find ourselves approaching issues from a negative perspective. Let's take your first question as an example:

"Why wouldn't this happen?"

I'll give you one good reason. You've already determined that it not happening is a possibility. Why would you castrate your question's only feeble attempt at being, by giving it a negative connotation from the start. Instead of asking why something would not, instead, why not ask why not something would not? Why ask something if it wouldn't not happen? Why not give it a chance by asking it why it would?

"Why wouldn't this not happen?"
"Why is this happening?"
"What is this that is this is happening?"
"What isn't happening conversely speaking?"
"Why doesn't this workn't?"

Next, you've created some sort of code. but I think I can discern what you mean. This is not an IM window, so my fractals can't run, but you said "Hit You in the nickles results in hickies and nuptials" Stay away from women, no matter what your nickels want. Your nickles know what you want but your necklace knows what you need. Listen to the necklace. Install the fractals on it so it can translate your IM window, and women will most likely stay away from you. If not upgrade the fractals by laying on your kitchen table.

Why it is.

Source(s): Please kill me.

Snakes

Football fans please explaine me....?

What is clean sheets in football.when some player choose for cleane sheets.THX

From one Laundromat enthusiast to another, I welcome you with a downy-soft shake of my flat sheets in a warm summer zephyr.

My mother was the first to help me with cleaning sheets. "Buy yellow" she always told me. If interested, you can read a few more of her landro-dotes along with tens, if not dozens of interesting ways to clean lint traps and dye all of your son's white undershirts pink the first weekend I came to visit you from college, in my new book, "My Mother, the Washing Machine: An Appliance-First Memoir".

Now, football sheets can be the worst. I knew a couple of little football playing sheets (and their girlfriends) while enrolled at Dartmouth who liked nothing more than locking kids in dorm garbage chutes just because their mothers may or may not have dyed their white undershirts pink. Who's laughing now, Rachel Dratch?

Anyhow, let's get down to getting some player choosed.

First, we'll need to chose teams. To be fair, we'll enlist the help of our old laundry pal: Woolite. Have all of your potential teammates take a swig of this stuff, and START YOUR GARGLES! first to have his knees buckle is going to be the last picked, so let's see how tough our football sheets really are.

Second: Empty a chest of drawers of all contents. Fill it with your dirty sheets and one by one, have your potential football team spit their woolite into the drawer.

Threed: Sew your pants closed at the knee and put them back on, don't push the drawer of sheet closed yet or you'll never fall over and knock yourself out.

Fourcond: Install roller coaster tycoon 3 (or the cool one with a waterpark) onto your computer. this thing has some amazing features (talking about the game, not your 3rd generation tandy that you're trying to pass as a laptop), don't forget to order more umbrellas for the kiosks, those are an easy sell.

Fived: Hi-five all your football sheet friends but not before they'll dumped a gatorade cooler of bleach, water, orange juice, tomato paste, lemon zest, squash juice and gas into your sheet drawer.

Six: Pick up chest of drawers and shake, this will allow the fundamental muscles of your lower back to rip out of place.

Se7en: Install "Wash Cycle" knob and "Temperature" knob.

For the wash cycle knob, take your father's bike (here's hoping it's not a tandem) down to the railroad tracks and await a train. when the train approaches, lay the bike over the left most track and secure with a series of spot welds. have the train cut off the bell, left front pedal, left back pedal, grocery basket and water bottle holder. The engineers are usually nice guys who will be happy to back their trains over any parts they may have missed. it's a precise art and they are precision-ers.

fill the grocery basket with cheer and the water bottle with fabric softner or dryer sheets. it will automatically dispense. take the pedals back to your father and let him know that someone had to sacrifice their bike to get this sheet clean, thank him for being a patriot and hero to the cause. if you mention the magazines you found in the grocery basket, he'll probably skip the whole punishment phase of your relationship.

cut a hole in the front of the drawer and using the best thermometer in the house (check washing machine and dryer for a gold mine of gently used parts), push it through the hole and into the sheety part of the washer. Oh, should have mentioned, you'll need to steal someone's voice and basic brain functionality in order to have the thermometer report back to you on the sheety cleaning conditions it's experiencing.

Ate: snake the garden hose in through the window and fill up the washer.

Nine: allow to sit for a few days, it's running on a super gentle cycle and shouldn't be disturbed. just let that hose run and run and run and you'll have the cleanest sheets you've ever seen.

Note: you may find a need to wash sheets every morning due to the urinish dew your body insists on depositing in your bed during the overnight hours. not a problem, simply add the new sheet to the old sheets in your clean sheet drawer.

How does the old bread and vinegar trick work to get out old smells from wood?

I did this once but I cant remember how I did it, a bowl a vinegar with a piece of bread laying in the drawer or if I soaked the bread in vinegar then put it in the drawer? Anyone know what I am trying to do?

I've often looked at my reflection in the mirror while asking myself: "what did you forget to do today thaddeus?". i never answer because my name is not thaddeus. however, i will answer you.

to start, i forgot to let my clothes soak in vinegar. i often forget to remember the simplest things. next thing you know, you're fifteen minutes late for work and this plastic bag filled with gold spray paint is dry already. now i'm four hours late for work and every time my neighbor runs his microwave, i drop to all fours and fill my drawers with something that smells much worse than vinegar.

but i digest.

now to get that smell out of your wood, pick a pack of pickled peppers from your local apothecary. dress them up like tiny ballerinas. there should be a goblin manning the register, let them sit and dance on his stool (he won't mind, he hates sitting and if i know a goblin [i do] he probably hates you as well) while you quickly pick a pack of your rearend over to the hardware store.

buy a propane torch and screwdriver. in the parking lot, melt off the handle of the screwdriver and get that metal portion pliable. don't wear any sort of gloves as the metal will be sticky. form a circle out of the screwdriver shaft, place in pocket and leg it back to the apothecary.

good, you made it. the peppers will have tired themselves out enough to be coaxed into your coat pocket. head home.

take the old wood you have in your home and place it out of doors using the drywall method (you must pass it through solid drywall in order to get it fully out of your house, not following this technique could allow ghost residue to form on your outer conundrum, that is to say your essence of being as the duke of essex.

take an axe to your pieces of wood. get them into a more manageable splinter size. you'll now need to create a dragonfly statue out of the splinters. glue is not an option.

once complete, the wingspan should be 10 to 100 feet in width. douse with vinegar and that juice that forms when horseradish sits too long and maybe some old apple juice that you left out in the sun for six months. now, begin to rub gasoline (petrol) onto the dragonfly's joints and arteries to get his juices flowing (flaming). as soon as he begins to flap his wings, set the screwdriver halo on his head and watch as he spontaneously combusts. the screams of agony may be the ghosts leaving his body but there's a good chance that you have a 1/8 acre city lot and the once not burning wings of the dragonfly had expanded through the window of a neighbor's home. don't worry, i don't think splinter mache is a crime in any city.

as said dragonfly burns, a series of runes will appear on his upper appendage. they will be written in either runes or something else you don't understand. write them down and commit them to memory using this hardly handy phonetic device:

a word is a bird is a thing.
a song is a crow is a piece of dirt in my slipper.
all dogs eat grass.
my sister spat six pennies at a penniless homeless.
soup kitchen, mister refrigerator.
i have a blood blister.
my last eyeball was a soccer dream of distant underground urinals.

now translate the runes into coptic while using an eyedropper to fill your tear ducts with vinegar. as you begin to cry, catch your vinegar tears on a piece of bread. as the bread become soggy, mush it into the dragonfly fire ash and then form it into a glove ( a little something i like to call the old vinegar and bread trick). using your carbon fiber glove, grab your tongue and recite the runes in coptic using that handy phonetic device i mentioned earlier.

i think this may be a good start.

and no, you win. i have no idea what you're trying to do.

Source(s):

a dragonfly bit that piece of skin between my thumb and forefinger about 17 years ago. he may have escaped but his ghost won't.

what r fibonacchi numbers and how do they relate to life and physics and biology--if they even do at all??

Which r fibbonacchi numbers?

I'll tell you.

first let me fix your question(s).

What r fibbonacchi numbers?

Well I'd like to talk about the ones that you've been keeping wrapped in a napkin, buried in your backyard by the crooked tree that withered for some mysterious reason, the day before you dug the hole underneath. Will those r fibbonacchi numbers do?

And how?

You exasperate my diabolical facilities.

Do they relate to life and physics and biology?

It depends. By they do you mean these questions, r fibonacchi numbers, or something else entirely? I might suggest a few things you should have meant. 1) The overuse of conjunctions in modern english 2) The world object of probability created by the organism your soul inhabits on a daily basis. (Do you have the slightest concept of your true potential?) 3) Your Lynard Skynard collection.

--if they even do at all??

When faced this question I usually answer: Please recall the falderal, that you removed from Satan's wall. He will surely take it back, and leave you in want for what you lack.


Source(s): Fibonacci is my co-pilot.

Ding-Dong, there's the doorbell.

how many pesos are in an american dollar?

Welcome to the side show, Bob.

There is a very easy (RE: difficult) way to determine what you're looking for. Pesos, while difficult to spot in the average American dollar, aren't impossible (sp?) to root out with the proper tools and a little bit of patience (patients) and sweet love (lovin').

First off you're going to need to get some of these good old American dollars. I would suggest possibly building some of your own out of Clorox bleach, wood chips, parts from a 1987 Firebird and some Pesos. If you aren't that ambitious, you're in the wrong game here pal. I might suggest you move down to a kinder league.

Take the Pesos and glue them together using the muffler from the Firebird. Make sure you are wearing the steering wheel around your neck and have one of the headlights shoved into your mouth, trying to make it shine with your slightly acidic saliva. (Eat some fruit before starting as some fruit does create electricity) Now, paint a firebird on your chest with a mixture of your own saliva, the Clorox bleach and leftover motor oil and other fluids found in the Firebird.

Now if you press the Pesos lightly into the wood chips, they will begin to resonate in the Violet Chakra. This is the key of B. This is how the early stone masons who founded our country (and also our shadow country in the 8th dimension) created the first great American dollar, that went on to spawn the rest of our glorious currency.

Now hold up your new dollar to the light, stare at it until you begin to see words forming inside the other words printed on the surface. If you've done this correctly they should spell out "U.S.S.R."

Now, just try and tell me the cold war is over.

Source(s): Look behind you.

Pancho & Lefty

How to watch a paper view fight online for free?

Terry, I'm glad to help.

Getting paper to sit still long enough to allow you to watch it watch a fight can be a real task. I'll assume the fight is still in limbo, so let's put some bait out there for our college ruled friend.

Grab a couple of neighborhood kids (not literally) and get some real brawls going. Don't forget to put the tape in the video recorder before starting. Maybe record a couple of extra copies, get them out there and market them as "Boy Fights"? Could be a real money maker.

Unwind the cassette, and hang it from your clothes line (as for cementing that into place, see my answer to the "How can I keep my bathwater warm for more than 10 minutes" question). As the fight replays, set out some pencils or even graphite shavings to draw our papery friends out from their notebooks and mole skin journals.

Set up camp, it may take a while. Don't even consider sleeping... use heavy doses of coffee, iced coffee, silver spray paint and sleeping pills to keep yourself awake. Additional solutions include holding your eyelids open with toothpicks and painting eyes on the backs of your eyelids. I read somewhere that the Egyptians did that to cheat death.

Within a few weeks, you'll swear to everyone you meet that you once got to watch a paper view fight online FOR FREE. Not like you could put a price on it anyway.

Source(s):
I once ripped a telephone book in half for giving me the skunk eye.

Dumbledore Gay?

Impossible. There were no signs in the book. its so stupid after all her books rowling comes out and says dumbledore is gay. what are your thoughts?


ANSWER:
First off, I have to say i agree with the author. Le Dore is not only gay, but also dumb. My thoughts on the matter include the following: As a child when my parents would discipline me, they would ban me to my room and close Le Dore. They said "If we even see you open that Le Dore for one moment, we'll take away your grass hopping privileges". I sure didn't want that to happen. In the workplace, when my boss called me into his office for a "disciplinary report" he would always close Le Dore, making me feel, well, inadequate.

I personally like windows better. They actually serve the same purpose as Dore's, but, you can see through them! You don't have to agree with the author that Dore's are dumb and gay, but at the very least, you must admit they are thick headed.

If you want to excuse the dumb dore's, i suggest focusing on the windows.

That's my two cents.

PS: "Dont let le dore hit you on the way out!", or "you make a better dore than you do window!"

Did you find the problem? i put nick name in looking forthose pictures.?

Hi Nancy,

Number 1, I love Fort Hose. One of the nicest state parks in all of the states.

Secondly, I did find the problem. It was with your energy depletion. Let me offer a sure fire way to increase your "madman" tendencies.

Fill six water glasses with Tyrannosaurus energy. Place each at the end of your kitchen table and slowly spill them onto the floor. Watch as the energy leaves the glass and expands as broken glass onto your floor. Do this every day.

Now you may be asking, "where in the name of Hades am I going to get a T-Rex?". Well, the metal guru isn't an option anymore and neither is the mammal... or is it? I saw a movie called "Jurassic Park III" a few days ago, I guess it's the first in a three part documentary trilogy about how dinosaurs will run the screen actors guild. I loved it and loved the knowledge that dinosaurs will still exist. Since they are extinct right now, let's make our own energy:

One quart motor oil.
Six gallons of motor oil.
One million pieces of college ruled notebook paper, shredded.
Tablespoon cornstarch.
Pinch of reptile skin.
Deep voice.

Combine the first five ingredients together while using your deep voice to growl. Craft a t-rex out of this paper mache, use a jello mold if necessary. Resist the temptation to eat the t-rex sculpture.

Using a piece of metal and a bucket, "tap" into the energy reservoir of the t-rex. Fill the bucket with the energy and you now have fuel to fill your glasses.

Can Fruits Really produce electricity?

If yes can you tell me what fruits can produce electricity:
Apple
Lemon
Mango
Watermelon
Grape
Banana
Orange
Strawberry
Blueberry
Pineapple
etc

I will greatly appreciate answers in my question.
Thank you and have a good day!

When I was but a child, my mother taught us this nursery rhyme. We thought it was merely a children's poem about fruit, while in reality our mother had taught us a valuable lesson: "Which fruits can really produce electricity"

The name of the nursery rhyme was even a mnemonic device for remembering what the rhyme was about "Weary Fellow Can Rest Prostrate 'Ere"

I did some research and discovered that it was written by an officer in the Amish Navy during the war of the Tickle Me Ivories, circa 1200 BC. I guess during those times the Amish still allowed electricity, but only if produced by means of produce. As you can see I've (re)produced the product of his efforts for you below. Read onward, and you will not see just how dumb the Amish of his day weren't.

"Weary Fellow Can Rest Produce 'Ere"
By: Nathanius Titanius

Apple and I push Apple and I push to produce with produce an ounce of magicians electric Apple Juice.

Lemon Tell you a tale about slicing a Lemon. You must cut it in halven, and aim it toward heaven, to keep the strong juices from ruinin' your vision.

(Sorry to interject on such beautiful verse, but I never discovered if this one meant electricity producing or not, but we have to play it safe and say no in this case)

Mango to the Lavatory and relieve your stress, a Mango is lightning all wrapped in a mess.

Watermelon with your best water boy, Me lawn is the prettiest because of hydro-electrolysis!

Grape is an ape when it comes to electrons passing through a positively charged gauge field to produce energy.

Banana always told me when charging batteries, to peel the long banana and leave the mushy in the tree.

Orange of values from negative to pos, I subtract a divison of multiplied twelves.

Strawberry, Blueberry, Boisenberry, Rasp, A handful of berries will shock your poor assp!

Pineapple is just a bastardized apple, with pine shoved inside to make sure it's not stable.

Etc fruit is really a gas sad to say, no truly it's noble you'll not lose electrons this way.


And that's it in its entirety, I know it's difficult to hold back the tears, but after you've had a chance to memorize this, and you've repeated it in your head a few hundred times you'll most likely be able to get through it orally। Share it with your children. This is the type of heritage that needs to be passed down for future generations so when the end times come they'll still be able to charge their Apple ipods and Blackberries.

P.S. I tried my darndest, but I just couldn't get my answer into your question... maybe next time!)

Source(s):

I am Nathanium Titanium in a rebirthed wooly shell.

Im looking for the name of the song they play at disneyland while they didnt the castle lighting?

before the snow start falling they do the castle lighting show and i realy wanna know the name of th song they played

you came to the right place. while a number of songs are played during castle lightings, only one song is not played when castles are not lighting before snow falling.

during the late middle ages, the appearance of a unicorn drawn carriage in a donkey village at christmas meant no one would be getting electricity that night except in the castle. many mules would take exception to such a rule and not play their favorite song when the castle didn't light. a mule rule for yule, if you wule.

attending to this philosophy was the venerable Merv Griffin who would later found the US government. The US government would eventually become the Walter (Heavypants) Disney Corp, LLC. A little background before we go into this ear-say political ramblings, that is, the corn fed democracy which is to say, "I believe your presence at the Magical Castle BEFORE the snow start falling may be guilt by association".

Now you want to know a song that was played when something didn't happen. Easy enough.

Take a large radish and hide it in your neighbor's woodpile. After six weeks, dig it up and introduce yourself to the magical beanstalk which has grown inside of the radish. If you see an elf instead of a beanstalk, immediately smash the radish with one of the many logs surrounding you. As the beanstalk clears its throat and begins to speak, you will notice that you are outside. Go inside.

Place four cotton balls into each of your ears, and toss a few into your mouth for good measure. Paint a fire hydrant on a second story window using mustard and string cheese. Place your cheek firmly against the window in the middle of the fire hydrant hearing device. Listen to what it is you are not hearing, write it down without moving or hearing anything.

Look up the words you didn't write down in a dictionary, then use the dictionary to open the fire hydrant listening device. It may take three or four throws depending on the strength of your wrists, but eventually the glass will give way.

Yell down to the radish and woodpile, exactly what it is that you haven't heard and what was not in the dictionary. they will not reply, this is customary as they are laughing at you behind that menacing birch and swamp oak frown.

Find another window on the second floor. With your ears still filled with cotton balls, begin heaving books at the window until it gives way. you may need to use magazines and postcards to weigh down the lighter books.

once that window has been opened, you'll need to act fast. build a castle out of legos. construct it at 1:8 scale to replicate the disneyland/government built original. you have 17 minutes and six lego pieces to work with. be creative.

once the castle is complete, irrigate the surrounding fields (carpet) with a garden hose. soak them thoroughly as the farmers will need help, it's rice season and someone's been poisoning their crop with Febreeze DDT all afternoon. also, provide nourishment for both dragons (spot and fido, respectively) and extend the faux topiary branch of peace (should be in the corner somewhere but the queen may have had it moved into her bedroom) to them. bones (of the milkith variety) also help.

allow room for a moat to keep out peasants. i would allow for 6-7 inches of depth (we don't want to get silly here) as that should get through the deepest of floorboards in any house. fill the moat with melted chocolate and... you guessed it! A woodpile with a radish buried in it. This time, the radish will need to sit for 8 weeks and when the elf comes out, you'll need to start castle lighting show. using matches or a spare propane torch from your father's toolbox, ignite some of the dryer pieces of wood. the elf will see the castle, see the approaching blizzard and immediately run back into his radish home, to find his favorite records to not play before the snow start falling.

Source(s):
"Excused" from Disneyland 75+ times.

What is the name of the draws that hide another draw inside?

for example i have a t-shirt with a skull and in the inside it has a tree house and a lot of things (here's the picture)
http://i150.photobucket.com/albums/s115/...

and I want to know the name of this art because i want to search something similar for a tattoo, help will be appreciated.

I got this one!

Let's not beat around the bush here. Stand-offs are risky business. DON'T GET INTO THIS, just because you watched Lonesome Dove one too many times, it's not worth it! Trust me I should know.

If you really feel like you're ready for this, then let me give you a few pointers because you're obviously wet behind the ears, and probably a little 'yella.

Number one.

GET RID OF THAT T-SHIRT!!!!! You might think that skull looks cool, or will impress the ladies at the bordello, but you're just plumb thicker than a thickened wool / fleece blend poncho. To a trained sharp shooter, that looks just like a target boy. Get your head on straight.

Number too.

You're going to need a poncho. I recommend a wool / fleece blend. Get one with HORIZONTAL STRIPES. This will effect the air around you and give your juju a kick in the pants. Horizontal stripes will give the illusion that you're some type of ghastly spectre. If you even try to wear vertical stripes I cannot help you! And, if I hear one word about diagonal stripes, I'll just remind you what happened to Pecos "Incontinent" Bartholemew, and kick you in the grits for good measure.

Number tree.

If you are going to get a tattoo, don;t go to Art his needles'll give you lock jaw quicker than a Mexican snail with a whiskey bucket. Also, I see you like this kind um house and a lot of things. Well, I can;t say it will be the same for you, but here's my advice on what sort of tattoo to get to help with your quickdraw.

I got two names tattooed on my knuckles. You'll have to figure out what names work for you, but I decided to use 1) the name of my grade school teacher, Miss O'reilly, and then the name of the guy who took my left eye, Nully T Sanchez. Seeing as I only have 3 knuckles a hand I had to shorten them a bit. So my left hand is labeled MORE, my right hand is labeled NUTS. THis also comes in handy in a bar fight. the last thing some poor sucker sees a'fore I knock out his sweet daylights is "MORE NUTS" and that tells em who their dealing with, as in a rootin' tootin' hullabaloo who had just eaten MORE NUTS at the bar, than they had. You see the first thing I do when I walk into a certain establishment is go to the bar and down all the peanuts in the place. one bowl at a time. people never know what to think, then I punch out their daylights.

Ok so pick some names, try to make sure it has a double meaning like mine.

You'll also want to get tatto'd on your back (between your shoulder blades) a snake whistling "when the saints go marching in", wrapped around a womans leg (dismembered, but make sure it's a pretty one) with some blood still dripping off. The blood should drip into a pool of blood that is forming inside of a chalice (I recommend something really subtle, not something gaudy and ridiculous... no gems). On the chalice should be inscribed the words "Lefty Bacon is a Happy World of Limbs" This will make sense to people later when you stand on your head.

Lastly, get a nice daisy on your inner thigh.

Number flive

Let's get down to talking about quick draw, and more importantly in your case what I think you're trying to ask about which is the double-reverse, Trojan horse, keep your legs inside till you're sure their asleep, rum and dandy, kill your mammy, western two-step, bring it back around and reverse it again so it can be turned back around and reversed, then one more time back and forth, 180 degree turn, to a back side double draw within a draw.

We usually just call it the "sneaky double team with your own hand" for short.

Now boy, there is now way in Sam Hill that you are ever going to be able to learn this. But, I have learned that this is never a forum for solutions, but a forum for the precedence of the human condition, so listen up boy and get yer some culture.

I'm actually just going to call this move Nancy for simplicities sake.

You'll need to treat the move like woman to get anything accomplished anyway.

Now Nancy is a cruel mistress. The thing she requires most is a sense of sensibility, and further a flint of flexibility, we'll then learn about the scar of scalability, the box of bewilderment, the stance of the wandering minstrel , the cake, the billows and the retard.

TO gain a sense of sensibility, you'll need to find yerself a limpant pool of water, one that has been sitting in the hot sun for days, festering, growing a hive of mosquitoes and preferably has a lot of algae growing in it. Take off your clothes, rub poison ivy all over yourself and then eat it. find some berries and smoosh them to make a paste then rub the paste inside of your eyes. Jump into the pool.

You will stay here (preferably head above water) for 3 years. Eat the algae to survive. Let the mosquitoes sting you (especially in the eyes) until you're near the brink of death, then begin to catch them with your teeth. Make sure to scratch the poison ivy often so it spreads all over your body this will scar and disfigure your skin and make you look really awesome. After 3 years time get out of the pool, if all goes well you will be blind, AND you will be immune to the sting of a mosquito. Gather together an army of mosquitoes in your best jar. Name each one and kiss them before you go to sleep at night.

Now for the flint of flexibility.

You should be nice and relaxed for this.

Take a hammer, give it to your friend and tell them to bash your fingers. You'll need them to keep this up for about a week. We want your fingers pretty malleable here so just set up some kind of rotation between your friends. In the end your hands should just sort of hang from your wrists. put them in velvet bags that you tie around your neck. The dead weight of each hand should offset the other.

The scar of scalability

you should have a scar running the length of your right arm. This is the scar of scalability. touch it during a stand off and you will grow to the size of the nearest oak tree. (pray that it isn't a seedling)

The Box of bewilderment

This can be a box you construct out of any material. it will be where you put your six shooter partner so make it nice. decorate it with some sequins and felt lettering.

The Stance of the Wandering Minstrel

Stand on your head. You are now in the Stance of the Wandering Minstrel. Make sure to sing When the saints go marching in while in the stance or you'll lose your balance. Make sure to sing it in a voice like you are underwater, and you are trying not to drown.

Eat the Cake.

Compress the Billows (If you don;t know this rudimentary move in quick draw, stop wastin' my time boy)

Now for the retard. Slowly... VERY slowly, touch the scar of scalability, drop the box of bewilderment from in-between your legs down to the ground. flick your wrists twice to start your hands freely waving, and wait for your opponent to show up. Most likely they won't.

And there you have it, you've won.