what kind does the plant need to survive?

i need them with molecules and variables

Emily,

First and foremost, I think we've all heard the old addage "it takes all kinds" Well, I'm here to tell you that this pertains in your situation.

Plants take all kinds,, but your specific quandry deals with the kind they need to survive. To answer this we must first decide if the plant is anterior or posterior.

Please make your observations now.

Done? Good. OK so since the plant is anterior, you will need to reach around it, and find the biologic dongle. You will know you have found it when you hear a series of whizzing sounds. Now with a firm grip on the dongle shake the plant until it is lying perpendicular.

Now, you will be standing on the plant.

Kick it, and then eat it.

Done? Good. OK hopefully you did not eat the sub-cutaneous leaf pestules, if so you will have to expulse them from your body. (why would you eat them anyway?)

ok expulse the pestules and then put them back in the case.

The case will explode. Take the exploded case and eat it.

Now lay down on top of an overhead projector. Put your mouth on the lens encompassing the lens wholly thus.

Like so.

Now you will have multiple copies of the plant which will attack you. You must let them defeat you. Please, deliver this message to the plant General "Zembod says hello." After spending a few years getting to know the battle-field you will be an expert spy in the plant army. Get close to an officers wife, until she tells you things in confidence. Sell these secrets to the enemy to fund your wormhole research.

Build the wormhole, jump through, don't look at your surroundings or you will go blind, just perform the third act of Rogers and Hammerstein's "Carnival" in it's entirety, and then jump back through.

You will become effervescent light. Shine upon your past self, and then give yourself a sunburn. You are now the penultimate being.

Oh yeah you needed Molecules and Variables. Just go find some, I can't help you with everything.

Link to Answer

Does running everday unhealthy and does it make you *** bigger?

just a wierd question. what are the benefits of jogging everyday?

Mrs. Peacock.

I am having a hard time understanding your follow up question, but I think I'm game for answering the first one. However I pose that I answer your question with an equally important question.

Do pressing alltimes precocious and do it build you ^^^ exponentially?

If you can answer that you are well on your way to having a bigger ***.

Which is stronger: black or red ants?

something i've been wondering for years. i can't answer for you, but i can provide all the information you need to figure it out.

first of all, head over to your local sams club or costco. you'll need to purchase 20, 50 lb bags of sugar. also, if i were you, i'd cash in on that new floda promotion: "buy six, go home with six"
can't beat that... six bottles of floda? pretty good deal. actually, you need to get the floda as well. get the floda and get the sugar.

go home and strip the siding off of your house.

next, coat the exterior walls of your home with layers of the following materials in this order: one layer of dry wall, one layer of cotton candy, one layer of concrete, one layer of club sandwiches and two layers of pudding. you'll notice that we are going to reward the ants as they tunnel into your sugar shack. first they're enticed by the pudding, then they find club sandwiches?!?!? wow, now they'll make a few phone calls and get all their ant buddies over to help dig... gotta see what's behind the concrete and HELLO, that's some cotton candy (a taste of the sugars to come)... after all this tunneling, the ants will be incredibly strong and we may even lose a few soldiers along the way but it's all part of the process.

now, while the ants are tunneling their way into your house, you need to have something to greet them with: remember that sugar you just purchased? time to spread that out, evenly, all over your floors. cover with floda and allow to dry. you've just created a great "strong ant" hangout. sorta like the muscle beach of ant life.

at this point you can sit back and relax, the toughest ants will be setting up shop in no time.

How do I get a cork out of my rear?

I fell on a wine bottle, it went up my butt.(it hurt this is not funny) Now the cork is stuck up there. What do I do?

Answer

I see you are in quite a predicament. As this could become potentially harmful if not taken care of soon, I will type swiftly.

First things first. In order to remove something we must first understand it. Let's get started.

The word CORK originated from the Latin Quercus, which means any method of searching for oil based on a limited knowledge of wildcats. Quercus, or modern day Cork, is mainly harvested from the year 1965 when conditions for developing a kind of super-cork were at a 100 year peak. Let's hope the bottle containing the cork you fell on is NOT from the year 1965. If this is the case, it will be discussed later.

Now that we are familiar with Cork, let us put the fact that you fell on the bottle "behind" us, and get to the removal process.

Material List:
1 Wine glass
1 Uncoated Corrugated Cardboard box
3 dead watch batteries
1 copy of An Introduction to Probability and Random Processes textbook ( this is VERY IMPORTANT, THIS PROCESS WILL NOT WORK IF YOU DO NOT HAVE THIS BOOK!)
and 1 8oz bottle of whiteout.

First, break off the top 5 inches of the wine bottle, Take the bottle of wine and pour yourself a glass. No reason to waste good wine right?

Now take the remaining bottle with your left hand, the whiteout with your right hand and the three dead watch batteries with you daft hand and set the bottle on the cardboard box. Begin covering the label of the bottle with white out until it's ridiculing stares are covered by layer after layer of liquid white justice.

While it dries to a snowy white sheen we can start on step two. Take the Introduction to Probability and Random Processes textbook and begin reading it furiously out loud. This step works particularly well if you are in a heavily trafficked area, such as a shopping mall, or Germany. In any case, it is a well known fact that Cork is allergic to Probability and Random Processes. It will begin to work loose, you will feel it losing its grip, desperately trying to deny the absolute truth of Probability and Random Processes. Unless, it is super-cork from 1965. Oh no? Is it? We forgot to look at that darn label before layering its filthy glares with 8 ounces of white out!

Ok, go back to the freshly coated, extremely white broken half empty wine bottle. Carefully scratch back layer after layer with the dead watch batteries until you see the date. Once the date is seen, all should be well.

Hope this helps!!!

Regards.

Link to question

What is this lump on my kitty's ear?

My kitty has a lump on her ear. It is quite big, and I just noticed it last night. It is not hard, it feels soft, like there is liquid or something inside it. She is an indoor kitty so I don't know what it could be. My grand-daughter said it may just have to be lanced by my vet, but I don't want her to be traumatized. What could this lump be and how can I help my beloved kitty?


Martha,

Thank you so much for your question. Kitties are an important part of everyone's lives and need to be treated with a numinous respect.

This lump on your kitties ear is it an off white color with some other-colored spots on it? Yes? Well, in this case this lump is most likely your kitties' life-essence. While difficult to remove, it is not impossible, and I think I'll be able to talk you through it.

First gather together the following items.

a monkey wrench
2 inflatable water wings
a Menorah made from reinforced steel
a Michael Jackson style "glitter glove" or equivalent
a stick of anti-perspirant
a miniature tape recorder

a long laundry list I know, however you should have these items laying around the house.

OK I'm going to jump right into this because I'm not sure how much time we have here.

First, inflate the water wings. Blow them to full capacity and more if possible. this should give a nice firm resistance from a well placed clinch between the index and dorsal fingers. now flip the water wings upside down, and shove one onto your cats front legs and on onto the back legs. This will accomplish 2 things. Your cat will not be able to scratch you when you tighten the monkey wrench onto it's tongue, and it will elevate the cat off the ground a bit, unless your cat has exceptionally long legs (in this case wear suspenders).

Next, tighten the monkey wrench down onto your cats extended tongue. You'll be toggling this later to get the most clear air expulsion from deep within the kitties' lungs.

Wearing the "glitter glove" light the candles of the menorah. have a helper hold the cat's belly over the flames. just close enough to notice the cat becoming uncomfortable. We don;t want to burn the poor dear, just get their life-essence "talking".

Now you will have to take the anti-perspirant and begin applying it to the cats face all the way down the spine. You'll want a thick coating, enough to mat down the hair.

As you notice the anti-perspirant begin to melt (your cat will begin to sweat what we call it's injected nebular onto it's epidermis) you will be able to begin toggling the tongue expressant, to get some good "talking" out of the cat's life essence.

Here is where you will want to start the tape.

Record at least 4 and half hours of the "talking"

Next you must take this tape to someone knowledgeable in recording tapes to backwards tapes. what is happening here is you are essentially recording your cat's backwards life essence backwards in reverse therefore giving you a full sized tape of the same sounds your recorded, only with all of the room-noise removed.

Take the tape back to your cat and play it back in reverse. You will hear some very strange sounds, in fact it will sound a lot like human voices.. If you listen closely you will be able to make out some special life lessons and songs that your cat wants to share with you.

Upon completion of the tape, your cats life essence will have canceled itself out, rendering the lump invisible (only still visible in the 6th dimension) and your cat deceased.

Hope you get that lump taken care of, do it soon or your cat won;t make it much longer.

Link to the Answer

Unless a sign prohibits it, when else can you make a "U" turn?

Candice,

I'm almost certain that the only time you can make a U-turn is when there is a sign prohibiting you to do so, however let me dig into the archives of my "Traffic Law Quarterly" Magazine and see if we can't not find some other examples of when you might not or to be able to make a U-turn.

Issue #7 is one of my favorites. Do you have that one? It's the one with the Intersection of 4th and Main in the quaint Irish village of Din Doogan on the cover. You know the one where the sheep are stopping traffic? I must've laughed for an hour or so when I first saw that on on the stands I can tell you.

Anyway open this issue to page 13, not the 2 page spread right before, but flip one more page and you'll see what is a truly under-appreciated gem of an article by Mrs. Eddie Rippers. She says that in ancient times U-turns were allowed on certain days as set forth by the position of the sun in the sky. We can only take this to mean that you can make a U-turn during a lunar eclipse or if you were in a chariot race in which you had no other choice. I also found a related article in Vol 3. Issue number 27 (I believe this one is titled "Are cars the Bicycles of the future?") In this issue a brilliant scientist by the name of Vasselspridz, using the ancient theory of sun based U-turns, gives in structions on constructing a device that you can mount to the hood of your car. It will monitor the suns Audio signals and beam to your radio a voice telling you when it is appropriate to make a U-Turn, I believe the actor Cory Feldman lent his voice talent to the recording.

Here is a quick rundown of the instructions, which should suffice for you to build your own U-Turn indicator:

1) Gather together a set of Chinette Paper / Cardboard Plates and glue them accross the hood of your vehicle. You will want them to form the shape of something special from your past, most likely an old boyfriends face, or your high school building.

2) Buy 3 Gallons of fresh Lactose Free Milk. It has to be lactose free to keep from interfering with the cosine waves of the suns energy. Pour 2 of the gallons onto the plates. Drink the other gallon as quickly as possible (you will need to restock the indicator this way each time you drive your car).

3) Shave an animal you keep as a pet. this can be a bird as well, just try to shave it with the most dull razor you can find. Also, you can shave some larger bugs, or even a worm if they have any hair. I would not shave a human, but it is acceptable. Gather the hairs together and sprinkle them generously over the milk-filled plates and yourself. if you have any left, shove them into your own ears as bait for the signals. Signals love to eat shaved hair.

4) The final ingredient for your indicator is the wiring, I can;t go into too much detail here, but it's not complicated. Get some wire or if you don;t have any very wide aluminum foil twisted into a conduction tube. these wires will need to run from each of your plates to the antennae coupling located inside your cars dashboard. Consult your cars manual for precise details.

Anyway, now that you've got your ride decked out with the latest U-turn indicator, take it for a drive, Cory Feldman will tell you when the time is right.

Hope this helps!

email me if you need anything else!

ip0wntehstreetz@frontflix.glov

Source(s)

I own every Issue of Traffic Law Quarterly

Link to the Answer

Do you think christmas is to commercialize do you think is for the?

Dearest Lenneth,

Let me answer your question with a question.

Do you tell people when their capsize to be angry at an? feel everything with a deeper can no time, no how, and then you'll think you can truly remember it and if you think that is too late then when?

Bonus Material (Know Your Source)

I exist by absorbing the energy of old television series, now on Betamax Tapes.

Link to Answer

How to take off door knobs with no screw holes, plates or rectangular pins???

older knobs, brass finish, don't want to pry off and risk damage too doors:


tricky problem.

first things first, collect all of the fine china in the house. while holding the gilded edge out, thumb pointed in and your face making a pout, bring china pieces down at a 45 degree angle, making direct contact with the door knob. this will loosen your door knob and make the next two steps that much easier.

eat a half dozen potato chips over the sink and allow the crumbs to fall into the garbage disposal. this will annoy your door knob and encourage it to give up it's karet energy. that is: energy it has stored within its many faceted, smoothly rounded face.

take a large, powerful drill and using a bit of at least 1" in diameter, make 3 holes around the door knob, as far apart as possible from one another.

grab a tiling trowel and biscuit mix (cornbread is my favorite), add water to biscuit mix (you can create this on the floor, use sawdust as flour) and insert into mouth DO NOT SWALLOW. with this mixture in your mouth, place your mouth on the door knob, teeth touching the metal portion. lift the tiling trowel over your head and bring it down with a firm motion onto the crown of your skull. you may lose a few teeth but the biscuit mixture is there for a reason. i've never swallowed a tooth while removing doorknobs this way. repeat until doorknob loosens.

Blood stain on my towel??

my towel has likea blood stain... (but im not sure if that is a stain that just won't come off) and i used to dry myself...i asked if my bro used it and he said no....i guess i blowed my nose on it? would a blood stain come off? will i get infected... rubbing the towel on my body? since i used it to dry myself....im pretty sure that blood came off my nose



hi veronica, another great question for this forum and i can't wait to help out. first off, i too used to dry myself. after 24 years of it, i'd had enough. for the past 7 months, i've steered clear of any cotton or absorbant materials for 6-7 hours after showering. i'd recommend doing the same - HUGE stress saver. i hate water and i hate wet things.

now to see whether or not you've blowed your nose, please gather the following materials:
an odometer
pack of juicyfruit
white towel
half cup of ground black pepper
pepper spray (co2 container)
hose

visit your local high school track, leave odometer in car but bring the rest of the materials with you. while running at full speed, unwrap every piece of gum in the pack and place them in your mouth, chew until your jaw begins to lock up or the shin splints force you to stop running. place the wad of gum up your right nostril. take the ground black pepper and snort it up your left nostril, as you begin to sneeze, spray yourself directly in the face with the pepper spray. this will deactivate the sneezing particles in the pepper and release them back into the air or in this instance, "your air passage way" or "your lungs/every pore in the upper half of your torso".

grab the towel and sneeze into it until the gum shoots out and is captured. check for fillings then discard. you have now blowed your nose. be sure to throw away the towel before it accidentally dries any of the liquid h2o particles. drive home.

now for the tricky part... would a blood stain come off? great question. first, throw away all cotton materials in your home. have the water shut off and dispose of all liquids.

grab steak marinade, a monkey wrench and a lemon.

extract the lemon juice without penetrating the fruit's rind. take the monkey wrench and mash your left pinky finger.

still got any pepper spray left? good. give yourself a dose of that, square in the eyes. hit your bro with an open stream from that knowledge beacon as well. try not to blowed your nose on anything and rub the steak marinade underneath your eyelids as soon as the pepper spray runs out. this will help determine whether or not you will get infected from towel blood. to be honest, i'm not so sure about your bro. guy sounds seedy at best.

hope this cleared everything up.

Hi my arm hurts and clicks very loud every time i lift twist or turn it round?

its right in the middle between my elbow and shoulderblade i have had it 4 months now tryed to rest it with no luck anyone any ideas or be albe to hlp many thanks vince!

Good question. Since it's only been four months, i'm not totally sure how much advice i can provide but i'll give it a shot.

so i'm guessing that when you say you "tryed to rest it with no luck", you meant you were lifting no more than 100 lbs. at a time. that's a decent bench press but i think you need to really bulk up and get that arm healthy again. start a strict regime of 50 star jumps, 100 one-handed pushups with your "girl arm" and 100 sets of 10 curls each, using 35 lb barbells.

follow those warm up exercises for a few months. then invite a a neighbor or close friend to smash you with a barbell weighing at least 25 pounds. have him hit you in the exact spot it "hurts". this will help in loudening the click (which is probably just your bones whining about the pain) and making a diagnosis that much easier.

should your shoulderblade (not totally sure what part of the body that is) collapse and pierce an internal organ, you should have a seat. i've got some bad news: your body is a failure. no problem: i can help.

grab the following: a cat, peeled orange, one of those old televisions with the crazy knobs on the front, a box of baking soda

couldn't help but notice that you used your "girl arm" on a few of those things. if this clicking is really a problem, i don't think you should be messing around.

alright: now the tests are over. let's get serious about the click.

you'll need that peeled orange you girled earlier. peel it again and eat the peel. rub the fruit onto your good shoulder using your girl arm.

that should hurt.

if it doesn't, you're cured.

if it does, gather the following:

skip-it (pink)
tape recorder and microphone
2 blank cassettes
gallon jug of apple cider
beach sand shovel (pink)
moustache
magnifying glass
gramophone


stand in the middle of your yard around dusk and start spinning your girl arm in a circle with the skip-it around your wrist. try to beat my leg (man leg) record of 148. the clicking should pick up considerably or it could be the crickets.

with your good arm, place one blank cassette into the tape recorder and press record. have your neighbor hold the microphone up to your shoulderblade and record the sounds coming from it along with a soothing background of cricket noise.

drop the skip-it and unwind the other cassette tape by spinning it over your head with your girl arm. this will create a funny noise and when the tape is about half way unwound, allow it to hit your neighbor in the face. barbell should be nearby for his use.

use the pink sand shovel to open the apple cider. drink it.

have your neighbor place the funnel end of the gramophone against your shoulderblade and again record the clicking sound of the crickets. use the magnifying glass to study the cassette tape for any discrepancies.

now you will notice that most crickets sound very similar. however, certain breeds have a distinct clicking sound. you may be able to pick that up on your cassette tape.

How to wash motor oil off hands?

I was doing some work on my bike and I came in contact with the oil. I tried bar soap and water but some oil is still stuck on.


Mikee! good to hear from you again. Now i've gone weeks with motor oil on my hands and if ever an expert in this field has been born, well...

First things first. You'll want to get some motor oil. I'd suggest lubing up the ole schwinn, get the tires coated, chain of course, handlebars and DON'T FORGET THE SEAT! i like a smooth riding banana seat when i'm pedaling to and fro the local dinner theater. Use your hands and make sure you have a nice oil base worked into your skin before you start on the bike.

Now that you have your hands completely filthy, follow that urge and rub a little into your hair. You know what, just go elbow deep in the stuff. Leave a little for the bike, but really get nice and slimy. Forearms completely covered? Good, here's a history lesson: you've just discovered the origin of elbow grease.

Okay, so the bike's riding a liiiiittle bit squeaky. I'd guess you have a bum chain. Start with a half gallon but don't be afraid to use two or three liters of the good stuff. Now's not the time to get cheap, not with your bike at stake.

Squeak should be taken care of. Be sure you stay away from any sort of lube guns, grease guns, knick-knacks, paddy-whacks, etc. those devices are going to make this whole process much easier and the last thing you want to do is give those raving liberals with their left-leaning agendas, something to talk about back at their dope smoking communes.

Next: start working on the kick stand. i've recommended removing them in the past (useless product, weighs you down and creates huge wind drag) but a great alternative is to make them ineffective. start by soaking your forearms in a bathtub of oil. let them sit overnight if necessary. you should begin to feel nauseated and possibly pass out due to the toxins entering your blood. steady yourself by holding onto the pink handlebar streamers, use your hands to wipe the "wuss" from your eyes and get to work on that kick stand.

make sure the joint of the kick stand has been rendered completely useless. it should be so coated with oil (reapply to hands and arms NOW) that you are unable to properly sturdy your bicycle with it.

guess what? Bike's fixed!

now to fix that motor oil problem. first of all, grab an egg from the fridge. first dozen or so tries might be tricky but someone should come along and clean up that yoke at some point. what are floors for anyway? smash the eggs against your ears and then collect the following ingredients from your home.

1. grass clippings (20 gallon trash bag full)
2. motor oil (grab another 2 or 3 liters of the good stuff)
3. something with amethyst in it. wife's earrings, family heirloom, anything
4. porcelain banana tree
5. spice rack (dump out spices before using)

arrange pieces 2-5 around you then take the grass clippings and spread out in an even 4-5 inch layer around your living room. let them sit.

open the motor oil and rub it into your hands and arms, using generous portions. this is the good stuff, so it won't hurt you.

once you've awoken from your six day, oil induced slumber, you should have a bit of a mold problem, what with all that dead grass decaying in your living room. the smell will be an eye-opener and you'll quickly forget what it was like to have functioning leg muscles.

use the amethyst gem in a non-traditional way : make it into a scrying mirror! this will allow you to look into the past or future and see how other civilizations have washed off motor oil. luckily, you will find your answer and have plenty of oil to clean up! so if the first solution works, you can still try other suggestions to clean the motor oil off of your arms, elbows, scalp and marionettes. scramble for that banana tree and establish some balance of reality again. familiar objects help with this when you're dealing with severe blood poisoning.

finally, fill the containers of that spice rack with the grass clippings. creating new spices and cleaning up the living room in a single act! congrats!

How do I replace a manger with a new one?

How do I replace a manger with a new one? what are the exact steps? (Posted to Fantasy Sports)

My Response:

I am so glad you asked this question!

However, This is something that requires, tenacity, stick-to-it-ive-ness, and maybe a ball of radioactive goo. DO NOT get involved in replacing a manger if you won't be able to see it through. It does both you, the manger and the original subject of the manger a huge injustice, and is quite possibly an unpardonable sin.

Lets get down to this though shall we?

Step 1) First decide if your entire Manger needs replacing or if just certain pieces can be swapped.

- now for this step I'm going to assume in your question that when you say Manger, you're referring to the entire scene with figures included. (if you simply need to replace a building I think maybe you need to try answers.homedepot.com ) but I'll proceed as if you mean the whole scene figures included. I mean no serious Manger Manager would refer to it any other way.

Anyway as you look over the individual pieces of your set, please take in to account that there are some plastic models ( the 1997 Sears model, and the 2002 Black and Decker spring to mind) that have a bad habit of splitting down the seams, especially the lighted baby Jesus figure, 2 of the 3 wise men, and the Dung Pile (only on the deluxe model) simply consult your Manger Manager Manual (3M) and compare your pieces decay rate to the photos included in the Manual, it gives you a nice visual scale for all sorts of physical decay like a) Bird Poop Accumulation b) Acid Rain and c) Homeless Person Urine. I would say if any of your pieces rank in the mid to high 4's you'll probably want to think about replacing them.

Step 2) Determine whether the Manger Scene belongs to you or not.

I know, I know it sounds silly. You would think that everyone was taking good care of their Manger Scenes as well as we like to, however, you'd be surprised that a lot of people take little to no care of them. THIS INCLUDES CITIES and TOWNSHIPS (SHAME ON YOU!) So, we can be somewhat of a vigilante force if you will, and help other people take good care of their Mangers as well. here are some things I like to do to help out.

a) Inspect others scenes and remove pieces that I think need replacing - Now you'll have to put a placeholder in until you get the replacement part or the owners might get upset. This is where I will often use my kids stuffed animals, or in some cases if say it were a life sized waxed figure of Joseph say, or an angel, I will dress sin costume and fill the spot myself. This way you can also sing Christmas music to anyone passing by to give them the impression that it is coming from the Manger Scene itself.

b) if a Scene you view in another persons yard is beyond repair it is your duty to inform the owner that it is not a right to own a manger scene and that allowing them to decay past a low 3 is an unpardonable sin, that they will most likely burn in Hell if you don't set fire to their Manger scene, then set fire to their Manger scene. it will save both of your eternal souls.

Step 3) This one is going to sound a little weird, but I want you to remove the pieces that you find unfit, and I want you to talk to them. Tell them that they are ok and then kiss them a little bit. I'll let you decide what is ok, and what is "creepy" but I've been known to spend a few hours with each piece. This will prepare them for the afterlife. Then you must chop them into little pieces no larger than your thumb, or if your hands are large your neighbors thumb.

Step 4) order your new Manger pieces direct from your one stop Manger Shopping Source.

www.mangerreplacementparts.glov

Step 5) Have a Merry Christmas!

I hope this helps you out, We at the Manger Manager Association would love to hear how everything goes for you this year, if you haven't registered with us yet, please do it today, just google "Manger MANAGER Association - The place where we treat fake scenes of the Saviors birth as if they weren't fake" it should come right up.

Merry Xmas!!! (huffaw)

Link

Can Anyone Tell Me A Good Program?

Can anyone tell me a good program to place effects on my pictures?
A free trial download...PLEASE.

• 6 minutes ago
• - 3 days left to answer.

My Response:
There's so many programs out there for stuff like this. Its really hard to pinpoint just ONE. Depending on your level of involvement, a local Alcoholics Anonymous Program or Drug Addicts Anonymous Program would probably help. You won't have to worry about a free trial, I'm pretty sure all the programs are free to anyone, and you won't have to download any literature. Best of luck to you and your pictures!

(link to question: Linky